Lets Get Real...

Pose - assume a particular attitude or position in order to be photographed, painted, or drawn.

I am late to the blogosphere.  Though, I've run this little blog for several years, I haven't really grasped the immensity of blogging until the past year.  I've discovered a few favorites that I follow.   At first, I was swept off my feet by the life-style ones.  The gorgeously decorated homes, the mouth-watering meals prepared each day with the fresh vegetables from their gardens, and the stylish outfits, even when painting!  And the children! Athletes, actresses, dancers, cheerleaders, honor-rollees, all fashionably stylish with impeccably clean bedrooms!  As mothers, these women are the fountains of wisdom:  never a scream escapes their lips, and if they cross the line into "bad-parenting," (which would be considered giving unwarranted advice), they quickly catch themselves and amend their  ways!  Oh, and the husband?  He is referred to as MrHandsome, MrHandyman, or MrBlueEyes, you name it.  He has immense patience, talent, and major power-tools.  Not only does he have a job that produces BIG money to fund all of the home-improvements, vacations, and expensive clothing, but he spends his week-ends turning ordinary trim into timeless architecture!

These blogs have tens-of-thousands of followers.  They are the women we emulate.  Why?  Because they seem to meet the criteria of the American dream, some even have the white-picket fence!  Most are professing Christians - they are the Proverbs 31 women.  Theirs is a world of prosperity, where the flaws are few and beauty abounds. 

Sigh.

I am glad that blogs weren't there when I was young.  How could I have reconciled my life with these images of perfect?  Though, I love the home-arts and have always worked  hard to create warmth and charm in my homes, it was always on a shoe-string budget. My husband had no interest in spending his week-ends engaged in home improvements, nor was there money for costly renovations. My oldest son was hyperactive and was the one who bit the other children.   Our honest attempts at gardening were generally overtaken by weeds, deer, and bugs by mid-July. 

How I longed for that picture-perfect family, only problem was my son would never stay within the gilded frame and I was usually seething, rather than smiling at my detached husband.  Life happens that way.  We raise our children with certain values and they grow to disregard them.  We marry with dreams of ever-after and wind up divorced.  We dream of the house with flowers and a white-picket fence and end up in fore-closure.  Age brings perspective.  We all reach that age where our dreams meet reality ... when what we hoped for becomes "what is" or "is this all there is?"

I had a long conversation recently with a young man who is defining his philosophy for life.  His goals are noble and I admire his clear-headedness and ambition.  As he talked I heard the optimism of his youth, his belief that life is linear;  he believes he will reach his goals by doing A-B-C.  Sometimes that works, but most often, it doesn't.  There are many impediments along life's path.

Working with the dying has allowed me a stark glimpse into life.  I worked with a 19-year-old, whose dream was to become an engineer, he had his A-B-C plan, as well.  The only difference being that he was diagnosed with osteosarcoma during his freshman year of college and died a month after turning twenty.  Then there was the young mother of two preschoolers.  Her life seemed much like the ones in the blogs.  She was beautiful, an artist, married to a doctor, and lived in a stylish home in an affluent neighborhood.  She was diagnosed with a brain tumor and died at the age of thirty-six leaving her young family devastated. 

I still read some of those blogs; however, they've become portraits of fiction to me, much like reading a novel or watching a movie.  I still hope, somewhere deep down for that type of life, where everybody is happy and life is as it should be.  However, I am tempered enough to know that I will only experience brief times and seasons of it in this world.

Life is so temporary.  Eternal life beckons.  While here, we are called to partner with God in the work of redemption and restoration.  That can't happen if we are posing.  We have to be real.  He desires truth in our inward parts.  We have to be willing to show our messy rooms, our marital woes, our children's less than stellar performances, and the weeds that grow among our herbs.  James told us to "confess our faults to one another that we would be healed."  Healing occurs when the truth is told in the context of trust.

My prayer is that rather than striving to emulate perfection, we strive to have honest hearts. My prayer is that the less-than-perfect woman in the less-than-perfect marriage with the less-than-perfect children know that hers is what real life looks like.  This is what Christ came to redeem.  This is why we need a Savior.

Selah

Musical Inspiration:  Broken Spirit, Psalm 51